Hey world!
I guess that that is my official sign in now. I wish I had thought that through a bit more. This week, it gets deep. Maybe too deep; definitely too deep for a first blogpost but I have already written it and I was meant to upload it like 5 hours ago so this is what I have got. Plus nobody did the poll (or likely, saw the last post). So be it. Lets stop procrastinating. Lets jump right in.
The people that you
love, and love you, are special. They are important. They are the people who
you dont necessarily see everyday, but when you do see them you wonder how you
ever coped without them. They are the people who might not stand out, but the people
who blend in. Imagine it as if you were a piece of pottery. You want the sort
of person who will sculpt you with their finest tools, and put flowers and
patterns on you. Who take time to tell you how amazing and beautiful you are. A
person who sees the little extra bit of clay on the side, and instead of seeing
a blemish, sees an opportunity to create a handle, or a pompom or
whatever. Sure, when you were a plain
pot you were okay and you still worked, but with some people just make you
smile a little bigger, laugh a little louder, and live a little brighter.
Recently, I have
been put in an interesting place, and it made me realise this a bit more. There
is this person, and I have been trying to be friends and become close with them
for a very long time. And every time I see them, I do something horrifically embarrassing.
I went up to talk to them, and then chickened out. My friend, knowing this, ran
towards the person I was too scared to approach, so that I would follow him. I
did follow my friend, but I ran towards him with too much force because I was
trying to get away from the person, so instead I accidentally tackled my
friend. This, on its own, is bad. The fight or flight action response in my
brain had been turned on. I freaked out. My friend is on the floor and is
laughing, and goes and approaches the person I was avoiding. Now, the person I
was avoiding, AND all the persons friends are staring at us. I decided that this would be a good time to
abort the mission, so I ran. But the story doesn't end there. Oh no, why would
it? I dont lie when I sign out every blog post saying I am socially awkward. I
ran in the wrong direction. A one way road. I knew that the bell was going to
go soon and I had to go back, so I blended in with the girls in front of me,
and then had to go BACK PAST THE PERSON I WAS AVOIDING, AND ALL THEIR FRIENDS.
Except, the group of girls who I was hiding behind pulled a left into a
classroom, so I ended up walking straight past the people I was avoiding,
ALONE. My friend had since left, something I am not sure if I am thankful for
or not, and I ended up having a massive cringe attack and crying. Smooth,
Melissa. Smooth.
After this
horrifying incident, and I had stopped crying and yelling at my friend for
causing said scenario, I realised something. I didnt really KNOW why I kept
trying to impress this person. The only reason why is because I thought they
were cool, and I wanted them to like me. Except, every time I am around them, I
am miserable. I dont think they are doing that intentionally, because I know
deep down they are a good person, but they make me really really unhappy. I
always feel worried and pressured, -and although those are definitely not their
intentions- it isn't healthy for me to be in that environment. I want everyone
around me to like me, but not because they have to, because they genuinely like
me. In the same way, I want to like the people that I am with. If everyone in
the situation doesn't feel like they are genuinely important, then why are they
here? Did you know that according to Asap Science, the number one regret people
have before dying is that they made others happy, but not themselves. They
spent their lives trying to please only others, and didnt realise their
mistakes until they were on their deathbed. I hope that we all realise how
important it is to be who we truly are, and have the people around us that make
us feel happy and loved, not just the ones that up our status.
Maybe this is a bit
deep for a first blogpost, heheh. But nobody reads it yet anyways. Keyword yet. I HAVE FAITH OKAY. I hope that you
liked it nonetheless. Also, Hi Mum!
The Socially
Awkward, Melissa xx
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